body speaks desire

Sometimes change means making excruciatingly difficult decisions. There are several times in my life I’ve been brought to my knees in the process, wishing what I was being called to (or away from) wasn’t so.

When you consciously begin practicing with the er0t¡c, this becomes your fate to some degree. Because deeply practicing the er0t¡c roots you in your body. And when the body recognizes a soul desire, it will employ whatever means necessary to get your attention.

As Bessel Van der Kolk famously stated “the body keeps the score”.

I can’t tell you how many doctor’s visits I had over the years, trying to find answers to mysterious symptoms that got louder and louder the more I tried to deny desire’s voice. Sometimes the idea of a diagnosis was more acceptable than the idea desire was proposing. (This does not mean that all illness is denial of desire - please, reality is more complex than that).

Maybe your desire’s scream comes to you as nightmares, pervasive anxiety or a persistent malaise about life. It might not make sense. The body and its emotions aren’t about facts. They’re more like the zen koan of the finger pointing to the moon. It’s not about the finger itself, it’s about what it’s pointing towards.

What is the call of desire pointing you towards?

It takes practice to slow down, trust and listen. It is not always pleasant. And often won’t align with your preferences (or those of the people around you).

I have a lot more freedom now that I know how to work with the parts of me that are fearful of desire. It means I can access the courage & confidence needed to listen to my body before it gets to screech level… so now my practice can be to hear it at a whisper.

Can you hear the whispers?