FEEDING YOUR CRAVING
Have you ever seen a hungry ghost? In Buddhist mythology, these archetypal creatures are portrayed with small mouths, long narrow throats, and big bloated bellies. Symbolic of the suffering of craving, they wander the worlds in an endless search for food that won’t ever truly satisfy.
We all have our hungry ghosts - the parts of us that constantly reach for something out there in the hope that it will fulfill the gnawing hunger in here. We may be aware of our ghosts and compassionately humbled by them. We may sense our ghosts and fearfully push them away. Or we may be in denial of our ghosts, believing we are perfectly, rationally in charge of our motivations and actions.
Tightly controlling our finances, food, or feelings… creating a sense of safety.
Packing our social calendars… affirming we are wanted.
Aggressively arguing our point… ensuring we are seen & heard.
Bulk buying chocolate… appeasing our body’s longing for touch.
Of course your ghosts might look completely different.
Hunger is natural. To be seen, loved, safe and have meaning are essential human needs. It’s how we try to feed our hunger that creates suffering. When what we’re actually hungry for is touch, all the substitute chocolate, netflix and yoga won’t truly satisfy. When what we long for is belonging, relentless socializing won’t hit the spot. It’s like trying to address a vitamin c deficiency with steak. We may get momentary relief, but the underlying desire remains unfed. Over time, we end up feeling more and more ghost like - lost, depressed, agitated, and unmet.
When we become aware that we are indeed hungry for something, we may wonder if we’re greedy, insatiable monsters. I’ve worked with countless clients who experience their hunger this way. And they have friends and family who agree - “I just can’t satisfy her”. But I’ve yet to meet a monster I don’t like. Because with loving attention, monsters almost always reveal themselves to be sweet scared children, with innocent longings (and the belief that they can never get what they truly want).
So get to know your ghosts. Hold your monsters in loving awareness. Become curious about what hunger is actually driving you. And feed yourself what you’re truly hungry for.